So, this is Xmas.

Well, I've been trying not," To Mourn the Living". Since Buster's prognosis I've been very sad so that is what I tell myself. I feel somewhat in a fog. I have a support group and they have been very helpful. I guess by now I am coming to terms that the end is near. I know; so much for holiday cheer. (I inherit this from my mom, thanks mom. ) It's hard, I take him too the park and no even suspects he is ill, just missing a leg. They are amazed how well he gets around.. he even managed to get away from me today.... he is eating, just gets tired a little more easily. I'm even tempted to get 2nd opinion from an ocologist or am I in denial?

Emotionally this is very tiring and draining. I worry about my own health, too. I've had so much stress in my life these past couple of years and cancer runs in my family too... I always have an auto immune disorder with my thryoid. I'm always trying to connect the dots.

Just needed to vent some feeling...